234,245 notes



dutchster:

as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

(via voidlike)


352,641 notes




cakejam:

me: *wake up 30 seconds before alarm*

me: *goes back to sleep*

(via claimyourself-lightnordark)


39,309 notes




teamrocketing:

*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that

(via claimyourself-lightnordark)


165,376 notes



86,193 notes



tardis221b:

DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU’RE SCARED OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP

(via paradise1394)


191,317 notes


titsnriffs:

Same


mishakoalins:

A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.

(via r4ging-pineapple)


89,579 notes


iconicgloryy:

My aunts neighbor has baby goats and he put the cutest little sweaters on them ever and all I want to do is cuddle with them forever and ever okay?